What can illness teach us? How can we use our illness as a catalyst for personal
growth and improvement? Audrey Kron, a medical psychotherapist and our expert
columnist on meeting the challenges of living with chronic illness, discusses
the secondary gains of chronic illness.
Dear Audrey,
A woman at work had the audacity to tell me that in
many ways she found a chronic illness to be helpful. I was furious at first.
My illness is definitely not helpful to me. However, when I calmed down,
I decided to write to you and see if you had any ideas about her
comment.
Signed, I. W.
Dear I. W.
I can understand that having a chronic illness is difficult enough without
unsolicited opinions from others. However, your question made me ponder the
concept. Is there anything helpful about having a chronic illness?
As funny as it may seem, there actually are some benefits, what some call
secondary gains. An example might be those unpleasant situations we can avoid
because we are sick. Or perhaps we gain extra attention. However, I wouldn't
really call these secondary gains helpful. The illness is too big a price
to pay.
However, if we think about it, there really are some positive aspects to
having a chronic illness. Some of the advantages I have found are as follows:
* It certainly makes us appreciate the times when we are feeling well. Others
go through life taking it for granted. We learn to value each day.
* It presents a challenge to help us grow. It pushes us to go beyond our
comfort zone and learn to handle more difficult situations. This helps us
to become stronger people.
* It gives us a better understanding of others who face difficulties in their
lives.
* If we work at it, we can make our relationships stronger. People who struggle
through problems together become even closer.
* It may influence our career. In my case, having Crohn's disease was an
important part of why I became a psychotherapist. I went back to school so
that I could work with people struggling with chronic illness. I have heard
of others who became doctors, nurses, nutritionists, sales representatives
for drug companies, etc.
* We become part of an international network of people with our illness.
Through our own respective organizations, we meet people and become involved
in a meaningful endeavor: we work to find the cure and to help others.
So I.W., I'm glad you sought an opinion. You gave us all an opportunity to
consider some of the helpful aspects of chronic illness.
About the Author: Audrey Kron, medical psychotherapist, certified
group therapist, and licensed marriage counselor has spoken internationally
to patients and professionals on various aspects of coping and chronic illness.
She is chairman of the Medical Illness Special Interest Group for the American
Group Psychotherapy Association.
Her first book, Ask Audrey: The Author's Personal and Professional Experience
in Living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease is in its seventh printing and
is an international edition.
Her new book Meeting the Challenge: Living with Chronic Illness is now available.
Audrey's books include her story, columns she has written, and a listing
of additional resources. Ask Audrey costs $12.00 plus $3.00 postage and handling.
Meeting the Challenge costs $16.00 plus $3.00 postage and handling.
To submit questions for her column or information on ordering the books,
call Audrey at (248) 626-6960, fax her at (248) 626- 1379 or E-mail her at
ShrinkA@AOL.com.
You can visit her web site at
http://www.chronicillness.com.
You may also order the books directly by writing to Audrey at 7466 Pebble
Lane, West Bloomfield, MI 48322. In addition to her chronic illness work,
Audrey leads a group for professional women as well as couples groups, the
latter are lead with her husband Lawrence Kron, Ph.D. |
