What role does your physical appearance play in your life? Share
your views on beauty with us. Write to
Commitzine@AOL.COM.
Meet Kristine, 30, of Kansas City, who says she has spent "the bulk
of my money on plastic surgery" but "today has stopped focusing on her looks
when I realized that it would hinder me."
What impact do you think the media has had
on how women perceive their physical self?
The media gives a false perception of women. I believe that men don't
always realize this and are in search of the airbrushed women that they see
in magazines.
What moment in your life did you feel the
most beautiful?
I am ashamed to admit that I felt most beautiful when I was nearest
to looking like the airbrushed women. I just had plastic surgery and lost
a lot of weight. I could only eat through a straw. I had an older women approach
me and said something about how beautiful I was, although she wasn't gay
she found me attractive.
I was around 22-24 years old.(5 feet tall and 85 lbs.) But, I will
never look like that again. It takes too much focus away from what is truly
important in life (family) to spend time on your appearance. I was young
and my looks were my priority.
What moment did you feel the
ugliest?
I looked in the mirror six months ago and barely recognized myself.
I had gained so much weight. I was feeling miserable on the inside and it
was reflected on the outside.
Do you insides match your outsides? If so,
how? If not, how?
Yes, when I have my life together (balanced) it definitely shows
on the outside. For instance, my nails are the best clue. If they are bitten
down, I'm under a lot of stress. If they are manicured, I have it
together.
How have your looks impacted your life, both
professionally and in relationships?
I stopped focusing on my looks when I realized that it would hinder
me. A few years ago, I had moved to California. Before I left, I asked a
professor from my college if he new of any contacts for me there. He actually
patted me on the head and said not to worry that I was attractive and would
always be taken care of (by men). I have never been so insulted.
Right now, I am working in the construction industry (family business).
I found that I am a bit of a novelty. Since I wanted to be taken seriously,
I found that I had to really know about my trade (mechanical contractor)
and be able to stand up to engineers and architects. They tend to push blame
on contractors when things go wrong. There have been times when I would stay
up all night researching my point (to make sure that I was right). Men in
construction are the most chauvinistic. The only reason that I went into
this business was to please my father.(Ophelia complex)
Next month, I am going to a school that teaches make-up and special
effects for film and television. I have always had a fascination with how
people can manipulate their own appearance through cosmetics, diet/fitness,
as well as, plastic surgery. Our bodies are living sculptures that we can
mold.
Do you put a lot of money and time into your
appearance?
On a daily basis, I don't spend more than five minutes on my make-up.
I have more important things to do with my time. I have, however, have spent
the bulk of my money on plastic surgery. Not to look better, but to look
like the image that was in my mind.
How often do you think about your looks, weight
and body type?
Daily.
Do you think men put pressure on women to
look a certain way - or do we women put this pressure on
ourselves?
I definitely do this to myself.
Do you focus on fashion? Or is this not an
issue in your life?
At 30, I feel ridiculous wearing trendy clothes. My style is now
classic and more comfortable.
What would you like to see changed in our
society when it comes to women and beauty?
I would like to see the Rubenesque women more accepted as beautiful.
Obviously, the majority of women aren't thin as rails. I saw something on
television last week about Afro-American women tend to accept their bodies
as voluptuous and beautiful. While, Caucasian women are still seeking to
be thin. I wish the Caucasian women would learn something from the Afro-American
women.
Do you still feel women are judged by their
appearance more than anything else? Or are things
changing?
YES. It's amazing how differently I am treated when I go around
with little make-up, as opposed to, looking polished. My friends say that
I "clean-up good".
I had an experience where this very pretentious girl (a friend of
a friend) I'll call her "Jana". Most of the time when I would see Jana, I
looked like my usual comfortable self. (little make-up, workout clothes,
etc.) She would never give me the time of day. Then one evening, a group
of friends met out at a restaurant. This was a rare time that I would take
the time to "clean-up". I walked in looking polished. I guess it was the
first time she had seen me this way. She actually had the nerve to say in
front of everyone, "wow, I didn't realize that you were attractive". (I don't
remember her exact words) Though, the message was clear. She now treated
me as if I was worthy of her company. She began to invited me out with her
"elite" friends. Needless to say, I never accepted.
What is your daily appearance regimen? Do
you do certain things to maintain a certain look?
I only spend five minutes a day on make-up. But:
every 3 weeks: electrolysis
every 6 weeks: hair cut & colored
every 2 weeks: nails manicured
every other day: tanning salon
six days a week: fitness center (alternate weights &
cardio)
I don't do all of this to be attractive for men. I am single
and plan to stay that way forever. It's stress relief and image enhancing.
(that's it)
What advice do you have for women who feel
perpetually dissatisfied with their appearance?
Work on yourself from the inside. You will learn to appreciate your
uniqueness. |
